8/21/2011

So, I spent most of yesterday moving Nichole into her new house. This was after doing the DQ running and going to a Memorial Service for Carol.
I hurt my back, of course. I went to bed at 8pm and got up just after 10am!
All I've done since I got up is eat and watch tv. I don't even care. I will care next time I get on the scale, something I haven't done in over a week. I was doing so well with the weight loss, but I really just don't care about anything any more.
I am considering starting to go back to the Y, but most of the time, I don't even think of it until it's too late...I guess, again, because I just don't care.
Guess I will just continue to watch the The Glee Project marathon.

8/17/2011

I try not to let it bother me, but I find it is truly breaking my heart that my own mother is choosing so called friends over me, and is totally ok with me and my kids not going on vacation with her just because she can't say no to them!
The resentment is taking over and I am having a very hard time controlling my true emotions. Like a spoiled only child, I just want to scream "IT'S NOT FAIR!"
I'm sure I will get over it, but I'm afraid it is going to get worse before it gets better.

8/15/2011

So...We have a DQ convention in San Diego in January, with a side trip (cruise) to Mexico. It would be a wonderful vacation BUT, I told my mom from the very beginning that I was NOT going if our former manager and her husband go!
My mom does not owe them anything, and tells me all the time how she doesn't trust her, and even thinks my dad may have had an affair with her at some point!
Today, she tells me that they are relentless about going....apparently, my bad ass mom, who has NO trouble telling me and my kids that she isn't going to do anything for us anymore...doesn't have the balls to tell them they can't go! They no longer have anything to do with DQ, so WTF??!!
It just shows me that she doesn't care if her family goes or not! Myself, Nick AND Nichole aren't going! I guess she has made her choice of them over me...AGAIN! Michael doesn't care, and will go anyway. Mike wants to go, but probably won't if I don't.
I guess it's time to get serious about getting her to get her Suze Orman stuff going before they...or any of the other scheming  gold diggers she has contact with...get her to spend, or sign over, everything she has on/to them!

8/14/11

Just like any diary or journal I have ever started with the intent of writing every day...I get too busy...or too lazy to actually DO it!
I picked my Starberry up Friday morning to babysit her for the weekend. The original plan was to keep her until tomorrow morning, but Nichole got back early and picked her up a few minutes ago.
It never ceases to amaze me just how much attention a 7 1/2 month old needs!
She uses her voice (in the form of screaming) to let you know she wants something. Sometimes it seems like that's all she does! Then I realize, she has been in the playpen too long, or hasn't had her diaper changed in a while...or maybe it's lunch time! LOL! She can't talk, but she can communicate!
Yesterday we dropped her off at the Mother-in-Law's house while we went to a hog roast. We got there just in time to eat, which is fine with me since I rarely know anybody anyway!
A storm rolled in shortly after I finished my food, so I went to the car....we had to park on the other side of the neighbor's house...I wanted to get to the car BEFORE the rain hit!
Mike, of course, didn't. He had to go do what he does. So I waited in the car, and let him walk in the rain to get to it.
He wasn't ready to go, but last year, when I actually KNEW someone, and was having a nice conversation, HE wanted to leave...and we did...so I didn't care that he wanted to stay...he could've driven separately!
Anyway, I'm home alone right now, so it looks like a good time to take a nap, so I'm going to!

8/11/11

Not a lot to say about today. I haven't had my Starberry for a couple of days, so i miss her like crazy! I will be picking her up in the morning and get to have her until Monday morning, so I will get my fix!
Went to Red Light Therapy. Late because I lost track of the time.
Want to get my house in order, but find myself vegging out on the couch every day instead.
Very sleepy, so I am going to bed early. They say it is a sign of depression....well DUH!

8/10/11

Another long day. Getting closer to closing on the kids houses. Nichole is scheduled to close on the 19th and Nick could close anytime between the 22nd and September 15th.
Had her house inspection last night and everything looked pretty good. A few minor things that can be changed eventually, but nothing that can't wait until after she moves in.
Nick's utilities will be turned on early next week in order for his inspection to be done.
Hopefully they will both be happy and I can feel some relief.
I love Nichole's house so much that she may have a hard time getting rid of me!
I have been doing Red Light Therapy all week, and I think I am actually seeing some changes.
I am really looking forward to fall. Thinking I will have a yard sale!

8/9/2011

I don't even know where to start! So frustrated. I hate being this unhappy all the time. I'm tired of people saying shit like "life is what you make of it" and "you control your own destiny".
That's fine and true for young people who don't have a life yet. It's not true for a 46 year old who is in her second marriage, has three kids all in their twenties, a 7 month old grand daughter that means everything in the world to her, and a 73 year old mother who counts on her for EVERYTHING ever since she became a widow over three years ago!
I feel like I am trapped in this crap hole town for the rest of my life! I never wanted to live here! I was brought here as an infant, and have wanted to leave for as long as I can remember! The older I get, the more reasons that come along to keep me here.